child's play... child's mind.

Sitting on my kitchen floor while my 3 year old brother is on his potty (being potty trained!) we look at 4 pictures of him about a year ago when he was at daycare... two of them are just of him and 2 of them are with 2 other little girls. These 4 pictures for me would have gone by in about 1 to 2 minutes but for him each picture lasted as long as it would have taken for me to go through them all. Of course babies are much more curious and observant but it was so interesting, and actually impressive in a way, to see how engaged he was, making me want to be more like that for certain things. Taking time to observe things, see the importance in them. It really reflects how much people and things can change in such a short period of time, and that's actually been standing out to me in many other ways... today starting a new school year, seeing how things are already starting to change from just 2 months ago and to see (and to be in control) of how things will come to be in the up coming months. We need to realize how much control we have and actually TAKE CONTROL to make the best out of our futures, no matter how corner or metaphor-y it may sound, it's still very true. Time goes to fast, you have to love and appreciate each moment as it comes and passes, don't let this time slip out of your hands.

aaah sweet maroon 5.

word yo WORD!

Some shit i found on youtube. This is a little how i feel right now but i'm not completely sure haha is that strange in any way?

do you comprehend?

What do you do when you realize that everyones out to get you in some way or the other, do you sit back and take it or do you live alone? What sucks is that living alone is almost completely impossible for just about any human being, but can we really face being played or fucked with by everyone simply so that we are not alone? Which can we live with, which can we stand to take? I can't imagine living like this, but I would never, ever want to be alone. I don't think I would be able to stand it. 

What we set out to do though, when we find out that everyone is out to get us in some way or another, is we do what is in our best interest. You have to find the ones that are least out to get you. Accept the fact that everyone is gonna play with your emotions, trust, mind, feelings, heart, etc. and look for that one... or even few people, who are aiming to do that to you less than others.

There are people who 100% want to fuck with your everything.. or just one aspect, such as your heart, whatever. Like they just don't give a fuck how you feel it's just their 100% goal or decision, and then there are the ones who just want to fuck with you like 15%, either cause they're more aware of your feelings, or more aware of what they're doing, or I don't even know.. it's just the way life is. I wouldn't be able to explain. All we have to do to survive is to find that 15% person... if you catch my drift.

It sucks but sometimes you have to deal, that's what life's all about... dealing, trying to get through this game in the most pleasant way possible. 

I don't know there's just a lot on my mind, ill share more later when i have the patience and sanity. 

Procrastination? My middle name.

Here's something that is way past due. Like many things I've put it on the bottom of my list of things to do and left it waiting. Now finally, due to some inspiration, I've decided to take it upon myself and write a little something, as "Ms. Matthews" has probably been waiting for.

 The purpose of creating this blog spot was mainly from instructions of a teacher, so that she would be able to take a look at my writing. Now I'm not going to sit here and look at this as a schoolwork assignment (because than it will never get done), but more of an opportunity to share a few things on my mind, regardless of if anyone really gets anything out of it or even looks at it at all.

The other day while I was in a whole other world so to speak, and in a completely different state of mind than that of the usual I realized a few things. This particular state of mind usually occurs after a certain  event comes into action, making things come to my attention that normally wouldn't. I almost always seem to notice something new or unique about each person I am with when in this state of mind. 

One person that popped out to my attention was a boy named Justin, everything he was doing was strange and engaging to me, this probably being because it was the first time I had ever noticed it. Everything he did reminded me of an old man, in my eyes he seemed so mature and wise while only being 2 years older than me. He was different than all the other boys in the room, he seemed to have a very protective way about him. He would call me over to simply pull down my shirt so that my stomach wouldn't show, continuously sort of being my conscience when I was doing something inappropriate or stupid. He would always be the one to stop a childish fight, and explain to us something we didn't understand, in such a cool, calm and collected way. Now I can't recall if he always acts like this and I simply never noticed before, or if it was just my state of mind that seemed to emphasis these traits in him that were indeed in everyone else as well. But it was like I could see something pop out for everyone, like what they most wanted in life or how they most wanted to be viewed by others, simply in the ways that they would act with others around them.

 We all, that day, as a group formed a whole, but each person in the group contributing something different. Something like a band, with the singer, drummer, guitarist, etc. different roles making one song.

 I don't know if what I'm saying makes any sense, or maybe it in fact it happens to make complete sense. Maybe this sort of state of mind has been experienced by many others or  it could actually be totally crazy, but crazy as it might be it is also just as fascinating to see things in a different light. This creating so much more to observe and wonder while in my regular state of mind.