change, an intervention... or something of the sort.

Let me discuss how completely lost I am at this point of my life, I've been doing badly in school, smoking too much, not giving anything my all (or in that case not giving anything... ANYTHING) and just completely slacking in almost everyway possible. Countless times a week I say I'm going to change and do better, mostly for school, but it just doesn't seem to happen. I'm all about action, always talking about how actions speak louder than words... Blah, blah, blah. I've been a complete hypocrite to my own words which makes everything even harder. I think that there's a breaking point when it comes to this sort of thing, and I've noticed that it was getting out of hand but its gotten to the point where I was pretty much given a drastic sign that this needs to stop, or at least change.. So that's what I plan to do. My mother talks about how in life it is very important to take care of work first and then play, and rather than doing that I seemed to have completely cut out the aspect of work. I'm tired of halfassing shit, I know I am so much better than the way I act and what I give to the things I am involved in. Starting today I wish to reinvent myself, if that makes sense. I want to be me, which honestly I'm not even sure what that is. All I know is that I want to be true to myself and true to the things I do. I want to give everything my all, make myself feel good. Give schoolwork, basketball, family and friends my all. Start debate soon, get a job, while still having fun.. Partying and all that good stuff. I need to cut back on smoking; which I can figure out in a reasonable way. No holding back in anyway, I need to be confident and fearless. I'm tired of watching my life pass me by, I have so much to give and I intend to give it all in everyway. I just want to be me, 100 percent of the time; in everyway and in everything I do. I don't know how this will turn out but its got to be a lot better than anyway I've been living before and I plan to find out starting NOW!